Rugrats on Safari, Part 2: Misadventures from Masai Mara to Nairobi

Duration: 5 days, 6 nights

Where: Kenya – Nairobi to Masai Mara to Nairobi!

Budget: ~ $2500 for family of five

Highlights: Stampeding column of wildebeests, river crocodiles, sunsets over the Masai Mara, food tour of Nairobi

Lowlights: Driving mix-ups, tummy troubles, scorching heat, the Great Migration that wasn’t

The Rugrats’ Great Safari Adventure Continues

If you read Rugrats on Safari, Part 1, you might think: “The five-day safari in Tanzania sounded like a great place to end a family holiday. There were a few rough patches, but overall the kids were champs and everyone enjoyed a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Why would you immediately set off on another African safari?”

That is a very good question. Looking back at our family safari debacle from Masai Mara to Nairobi, I can only laugh. I’m chronicling it here so you can learn from our mistakes.

Arusha (Tanzania) to Nairobi (Kenya)

After our glorious Tanzania family safari, we had a morning to catch our breath in Arusha and repack our luggage. Buddy and his mom took a flight to Nairobi early in the day. Our plan was to drive up with the Rugrats to meet them. That afternoon, our family piled into our car for the four-hour road trip across the Kenya-Tanzania border to Nairobi.

The Rugrats were surprisingly well behaved for the first three hours.

In hour four, the meltdowns began. Husband coasted unwittingly onto Nairobi’s new express highway as Rugrat#3 screamed about how much she hated her car seat, Rugrat#2 sobbed about needing the toilet, and Rugrat#1 repeatedly kicked the front seats. Ten minutes from our vacation rental, Rugrat#2 had changed herself into one of Rugrat#3’s pull-ups—which was very resourceful, I thought—and we were making our way down the off ramp to exit the express highway.

But it turns out the express highway was a toll road. So we had to pay a toll before we could exit. The toll clerk gave us three options: pay cash in Kenyan shillings; pay cash in US dollars; or make a mobile money transfer in Kenyan shillings. We did not having any Kenyan shillings yet, having just crossed the border. We had only $2, but the fee was double that. Our Tanzanian mobile money accounts could not transfer into foreign (non-Tanzanian) currency.

With a car full of agitated Rugrats, we were going to be escorted to the police station if we couldn’t pay. After half an hour of frantic finagling, Husband convinced another driver to pay our toll in exchange for a wad of Tanzanian shillings and our $2. It was easily triple the cost of our toll but at least we avoided a run-in with law enforcement!

Nairobi to Masai Mara National Reserve

We made it to our vacation rental at last, only to be turned away by guards who insisted we did not have a booking. When we finally got through to the booking agent and into the apartment, I tried for an hour to order dinner delivery. Eventually, I figured out that none of the delivery apps would let me order with a Tanzanian phone number. By that time all nearby restaurants were closed and the Rugrats were beside themselves. The only remaining dinner option was Pringles left over from the drive. And some smelly cold leftover tofu I’d brought from home. Gold star parenting! I plied the Rugrats with chips and coaxed them to sleep, promising that things would be better in the morning.

Indeed, things started out better in the morning. The safari guide from Meed Safari Tours arrived bright and early to pick us up. First stop was Le Grenier à Pain, the most incredible French bakery. We stocked up on croissants and other pastries for my famished Rugrats.

Fleeting Tranquility at Oldarpoi Wageni Camp

When we finally arrived at Oldarpoi Wageni Camp, the very last thing we wanted to do was pile back into the safari van for the nonrefundable evening game drive we had already paid a lot of money for. So we cut our losses. The Rugrats took to the pool while Buddy tried to sleep off his tummy troubles.

Oldarpoi Camp was restorative. The huge Africa-shaped swimming pool was set on a hill with a positively stunning view over the Masai Mara. At the end of a very long couple of driving days, the Rugrats had the best time splashing around. Seeing them so happy at last made my heart burst. I felt bad about my sub-optimal planning for this trip, but the Rugrats were making the most of it.

The camp’s all Masai staff set up the sundowner (more snacks! more drinks!) and a roaring campfire. They were friendly and colorfully dressed, and the Rugrats loved them. The girls giggled with them and marveled at their beaded accessories. Under one Masai’s watchful eye, Rugrat#1 enthusiastically stoked the campfire flames with sticks he found lying around. As we took in the sunset with a view over the Masai Mara national reserve, cocktails in hand, Husband and I thought we might just survive this trip.

Misadventure in the Masai Mara

The Great Meltdown

Finally we arrived at our river destination. Except that it was a lower crossing, and the one we’d been looking forward to was hours away, in the opposite direction. It was a pretty significant miscommunication. We thought our guide was taking us to THE river crossing, where we could imagine hundreds of wildebeests thundering across even if we didn’t see any. The guide, on the other hand, had arranged for a guided river walk at this smaller crossing, since we weren’t going to see any of the wildebeest migration anyway.

Initial disappointment aside, Rugrats#2 and 3 and I were excited about the river walk. It was something new, and it was outside the car. Our park ranger pointed out crocodiles and hippos for approximately three minutes before Buddy and Rugrat#1 lost their minds entirely. Rugrat#1 wanted to escape the scorching heat, but there was no escaping the scorching heat. Buddy wanted a toilet, but the only one around was a hole in the ground inside a makeshift wooden shack. Great wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued. The boys were in such a state that we had no choice but pile back into the car. We needed the safari to be over.

As luck would have it, during the drive back we finally witnessed a sliver of the Great Migration. From a distance, we watched as a seemingly endless column of wildebeests charged across the Masai Mara plains. They weren’t crossing a river, but it was still a majestic sight to behold. 

We made it back to Oldarpoi Camp with an enormous sigh of relief. Rugrats were back in the pool, Buddy was back in his bed. Another glorious sunset, with cocktails.

Masai Mara to Nairobi Again!

The next day was the return journey from the Masai Mara to Nairobi. The drive was long, but screen time and the promise of pepperoni pizza in the big city kept spirits high. My fast-food-deprived-country-bumpkin Rugrats were ecstatic when we finally pulled into the parking lot of Domino’s pizza at The Hub.

The next morning we had a one-hour reservation at the Sheldrick Elephant Orphanage. Unfortunately by typically, I drastically underestimated how long it would take the Rugrats to walk to a brunch place “just around the corner”. (Lava Latte!) By the time we arrived and ordered, we had to leave or we’d miss the baby elephants. Fortunately, the kids had already had some morning snacks.

Buddy’s mom took as many kids as she could handle in a taxi, while I waited with Rugrat#2 for the food. Once on the road with our hot breakfast items, we circled Nairobi for an eternity. Google maps didn’t know where Sheldrick’s Elephant Orphanage is, and it turned out that the taxi driver transporting Buddy’s mom and the kids didn’t either!

When we finally found it, we only had fifteen minutes left to enjoy the baby elephants. It was still worth it to watch the babies playing up close, and learn about Sheldrick’s important wildlife conservation work. The Rugrats enjoyed “adopting” an elephant born in the same month as Rugrat#3.

There was the tiny incident when Rugrat#2 dramatically flung herself down on a seat to protest that I was taking too long, and accidentally sat right in a pile of poo (elephant poo?? unclear). The mood was quickly rectified with the delicious takeaway brunch.

The Great Foodcation

We ate our way around Nairobi city with reckless abandon for a day and a half. Sushi and teppanyaki at Furusato! Desserts and drinks at Artcaffe!

Between meals, the Rugrats and Buddy enjoyed Nairobi’s playgrounds and mall amusement parks. Not the most cultured city trip. But it was what we needed after our journey back from Masai Mara to Nairobi.

Our great odyssey from Nairobi to Masai Mara to Nairobi was intense, but we survived and had some good times along the way. We were all going to be ok.